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--- /dev/null +++ b/sc2/content/comm/thradd/thradd.txt @@ -0,0 +1,914 @@ +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_1) THRAD000.wav +So, what's this? SNORT! An unknown alien species? +How wonderful! Someone new to fight! +We, the Thraddash of Culture Nineteen -- famous Ur-Quan Combat Thralls +know well the value of a good fight. +Either you win and prove your superiority... +SNORT! Or you lose and are vanquished. +If the vanquished is lucky, it may survive to learn an important lesson from its defeat. +This is the way of the Thraddash! We fight and learn and improve! +All other cultural schemes are inferior. This is a proven fact. +What have you to say before we begin combat? + +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_2) THRAD001.wav +SNORT! What a laugh! You are the least battle-worthy creature I've ever seen commanding a starship. +We are the Ur-Quan fighting slaves of Culture Nineteen. +Please don't run away. We wish to be your species' new role-models! +Unfortunately, to do this, we may need to blast you into your component atoms. + +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_3) THRAD002.wav +Attention weak, ugly humans aboard that wallowing garbage scow of a ship, SNORT! +Unless you are even more inferior that we believe and that's hard to imagine +you already know who we are -- the Thraddash of Culture Nineteen +We are the original Ur-Quan fighting slaves, the cream of their elite forces +your instructors in the harsh realities of life. +SNORT! It is time for your next lesson. + +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_4) THRAD003.wav +Inferior Aliens. You have once again intruded upon the territory of the Thraddash. +This is a patrolled region of space. Your presence here is considered an act of War! +How wonderful! + + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_1) THRAD004.wav +HA! View the stupid weak alien who has appeared here at our homeworld! +What do you desire, creature? Our Friendship? Our submission?! +HARG! HARG! HARG! +Foolish, dumb weakling! We, the Nineteenth Culture of the Thraddash Empire +have an enormous fleet of ships here, with which to instruct you! +We will gladly attack you -- in fact, it is a requirement that we do so +since we are Ur-Quan slaves, and you are obviously an independent. +But know this! SNORT! Pay close heed! +While it is true we keep count of the number of our ships you destroy +we consider attacking our homeworld SO irrevocably stupid +that any victories you may score here through a sheer stroke of luck +WILL NOT be added to your personal victory tally! +Now what do you wish of us before we attack? + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_2) THRAD005.wav +Attention cowardly alien human thing! +You escaped our instructional session, SNORT! But this time things are different.\n +We, the Ur-Quan slaves of Culture Nineteen, +have engaged in a long-term build-up of weapons, assuring us that we shall prevail! +If you wish merely to count coup, seek our ships in space. +Now do you wish to speak, or shall we simply start blasting? + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_3) THRAD006.wav +I am Korgk, battle-slave foreman of Culture Nineteen. +You may be interested to know that our model ZK-53 computer +has determined that you have only a fleeting 1.6% chance +of surviving a battle with our homeworld guardian fleet. +Shall we test this assertion? + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_4) THRAD007.wav +Foolish Aliens! Shall you never learn the futility +of trying to conquer our homeworld through direct attack? +It is impossible! SNORT! We Thraddash will toast your tootsies. +Your charred bodies will be fertilizer for our fodderland. +A great fight, resulting in a glorious Thraddash victory, awaits you here! + + +#(whats_up_hostile_1) +Thraddash of Culture Nineteen: we sense a bit of hostility here. Why? + +#(whats_up_hostile_2) +What has made you this way? Why are you so brutal? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_HOSTILE_1) THRAD008.wav +Hostility! +HARG! HARG! HARG! +We are not `hostile'. Hostility is unwarranted aggression! SNORT! +If you want to know about hostility, let us tell you about Culture Twelve! +Culture Twelve was SO hostile that while they were on their way to their first great battle +Jugkah, the battlemaster, stepped on Gnusko the tactician's foot, causing him great pain. +The annoyed Gnusko turned on his battlemaster, Jugkah, and sliced his body in half! +This miffed Jugkah's troops who took it upon themslves to murder Gnusko and his elite troops. +The REAL trouble started when now-dead Jugkah's master sergeants Muuhd and Pudt +started arguing about how to kill Gnusko -- simple crucifixion, or the slower `Lead Tatoo' technique. +The argument was resolved when Muuhd and his five hundred troops were slaughtered by Pudt and his gang. +Well, this probably all would have gone down in history as a great day of learning for Culture Twelve +were it not for the surprise arrival of Culture Twelve's original enemy, the Yajag and his cronies +who wiped out Culture Twelve's army, thus beginning the long and glorious Culture Thirteen. +SNORT! Now THAT'S hostility! +We, on the other hand, merely want to kill you. + + +#(GENERAL_INFO_HOSTILE_2) THRAD009.wav +Brutal!? You don't know the MEANING of brutal until you've heard the story of Culture Three! +How brutal WAS Culture Three you ask? +Culture Three was SO brutal that they maimed, tortured, enslaved, and in general brutalized +THEMSELVES! +You see, Culture Two had made a virtue of stoic resistance to pain, stubborn fortitude, that sort of thing. +So when Culture Three came around, they had a problem. +How were they going to impress everyone as being EVEN TOUGHER? +Their answer? They would arrive at a battle, stand on a tall hill where everyone could see them +and chop off one of their own limbs! Then they'd wave it around, screaming and shaking it at their enemies. +It worked! It scared the hell out of their opponents! They ran like crazy! +You could tell who was a real war hero back then by how few arms or legs he had left. +War parades were quite different too. Instead of sturdy old warriors walking slowly past the reviewing stands +they tended to roll, and at a good clip, too. +To you, an inferior alien, this may seem bluntly stupid -- the product of a sick, primitive society. +SNORT! You couldn't be more right! +Culture Three was, as you can well understand, only the third Thraddash Culture +and was therefore far from the tempered perfection you have encountered here and now. + + + +#(GENERAL_INFO_HOSTILE_3) THRAD010.wav +NO! We will not answer any more of your foolish questions! +Instead, you will answer OUR questions, such as +who is responsible for those berserk red probes that keep attacking our ships? +Are these devices your robot emissaries of death? Hmm? +No! Don't answer, I can see it in your eyes. You've given it all away! SNORT! I know the truth now. +The only thing that confuses me is WHY do the probes approach from the direction of Vega? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_HOSTILE_4) THRAD011.wav +Back to the subject of the probes! +We found one orbiting a strange planet in the Epsilon Draconis system. +The planet causes our scanners to malfunction, producing a wildly colored image. +The probe seemed to be studying it. Is this true? +SPEAK, HUMAN! REVEAL THE TRUTH! CONFESS YOUR CRIMES! +Well, if you will not cooperate +we will have to extract the information from you in more painful ways. + +#(what_about_you_1) +What can you tell us of your species? + +#(ABOUT_US_1) THRAD012.wav +Talk! Bah, talk is for sissies, weaklings like those of Culture Fourteen. +For ten thousand years, we Thraddash have fought and died, learned and improved. +Then, along came Culture Fourteen which claimed that all this -- this perfect method... +...was wrong! -- that each time we violently transformed to a new Culture +we inevitably blasted ourselves back at least five hundred years in development. +Hmph! Some people just cannot accept the cost of progress. +Indeed, the FOOLISHNESS of Culture Fourteen's peaceful whining was revealed +when they were conquered by Culture Fifteen after only a ten year reign. +And did the change to Culture Fifteen set us back five hundred years? +NO! SNORT! +Two, maybe three hundred years, tops. +The short span of Culture Fourteen's reign is objective proof that as a way of life +peace is a failure. + +#(what_about_you_2) +So violent, Rhino-Dudes! What more can you tell us about your Culture Nineteen? + +#(ABOUT_US_2) THRAD013.wav +What!?! SNORT! MORE talk? +It amazes me that you ever got out of the orbit of your home planet! +Yak! Yak! Yak! -- Yammer! Yammer! Yammer! +Sigh... very well, we will talk... for a moment. +Our Culture Nineteen is the most formidable ever to appear in Thraddash space. +Admittedly, we said something similar about Culture Eighteen, BUT IT IS TRUE! +With our rather swift defeat by the Ur-Quan and subsequent enslavement +we realized that it was time for a change! A new Culture had to be established! +So, of course, we began a thermo-nuclear exchange to decide who would lead this new culture. +We were all quite disappointed when the Ur-Quan in orbit above our homeworld +launched waves of fighters who intercepted all our missiles. +The Ur-Quan explained that slaves were not permitted to engage in such destructive conflicts +so my people, being superior, introduced a super-lethal poison into our opponents' water and air +thus ending the conflict, HARG! HARG! HARG! +The Ur-Quan were not particularly happy about this resolution, and killed all of our leaders +which under other circumstances would have started a larger inter-Thraddash war +but the Ur-Quan appointed new leaders, apparently chosen at random +and explained that further disobedience would result in the destruction of our species. +Frustrating, huh? + +#(what_about_urquan_1) +You mention the Ur-Quan. What is your relationship with them? + +#(ABOUT_URQUAN_1) THRAD014.wav +A foolish question! We are their slaves, dolt! What else would we be? +When the Ur-Quan first appeared in our space over fifty years ago +coming from the direction of the Ophiuchi stars +we attacked them with gusto, zipping in to fire our Mark 6 blasters +and then theoretically zipping back out to prepare for another attack run. +SNORT! Unfortunately, before we could zip out +our ships were either blasted to smithereens by the Ur-Quan's fusion bolts +or were picked apart by the swarms of Ur-Quan fighter-vessels. +You may wonder why we didn't use our afterburners to escape. The answer is simple. +Fifty years ago, our ships had not yet been modified for this enhancement! +It was not until 2143 that Maintainance Engineer Reeunk invented the afterburner effect +when he accidentally stuck his cigar in the aft fuel valve of the ship we was working on. +WHABOOM!!! The ship took off like a farg out of hell, and Reeunk was fried to a crisp. +Yes, we remember Reeunk with much fondness. Of course, we have refined the device +and now that our entire fleet has been fitted with the Reeunk Afterburners +perhaps NOW the Ur-Quan will let us fight at their side as TRUE battle thralls. + +#(what_about_urquan_2) +Why didn't you fight against the Alliance, and where ARE the Ur-Quan? + +#(ABOUT_URQUAN_2) THRAD015.wav +We wanted to, OH how we wanted to! +After all, we were the first battle thralls the Ur-Quan enslaved in this part of space +we thought we had priority!... +but the Ur-Quan thought we were too weak to hold our own in the upcoming battles +so they left us here... to guard the flank. +If only we had been WHIMPER! stronger and less... SNARF! troublesome. +Another reason the Ur-Quan wouldn't take us with them +was because we kept picking fights with the new battle slaves +like the Umgah blobbies, or those religious idiots, the Ilwrath. +Where did they go, you ask? This is a secret, of course! We can't tell you! +If we told you that they were fighting a secret war against a mysterious invader +you might find some way to use that information against our masters. +So forget it! No secrets! + +#(got_idea) + "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't you go impress your Ur-Quan masters AND " +show-off your Afterburner modification by attacking the Ur-Quan's enemy!? + +#(GOOD_IDEA) THRAD016.wav +WHAT FOOLISH STUPIDITY! HARG! HARG! HARG! +WHY THAT'S AS DUMB AN IDEA AS -- what did you say? +Attack the Ur-Quan's enemy? Help them win their war? +Why that's a... that's a... THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA! +I'm glad I thought of it! +We shall marshall our forces and leave at once! +Stupid, human pitiful weakling dog, you have been helpful, so as a reward +you may leave alive, and when we return from our glorious campaign +we may even honor you with a retelling of the many great battles we shall certainly win. +Until then, get lost. + +#(WE_GO_TO_IMPRESS_URQUAN_1) THRAD017.wav +The Ur-Quan will be mightily impressed by our combat prowess +when we blast their enemies from space! +We build up a charging fury! Stay out of our path! + +#(WE_GO_TO_IMPRESS_URQUAN_2) THRAD018.wav +Our individual skills, our superior fighting ships +and our objectively correct political views +are sure to greatly impress our Ur-Quan Masters! +To Arms! SNORT! To Arms! + +#(WE_IMPRESSING_URQUAN_1) THRAD019.wav +Oh! The Weapons!! The devastating bolts of sheer energy! SNORT! +The dark ships -- the Ur-Quan's enemies, they bow before our superior technologies! +The morbid, relentless wheels of heart-pounding destructiveness +are nothing more than an inconvenience! +Oh, yes! I am sure that we are demonstrating to the Ur-Quan +the worthiness of our excellent Culture Nineteen! + +#(WE_IMPRESSING_URQUAN_2) THRAD020.wav +We look forward to success! +The way is challenging, but our Turbo-Thrusters are at 200% and our guns stand ready! +We have engaged the dark ships and achieved victory! +The Ur-Quan know we are here! SNORT! They see our valor!... +...unfortunately they also seem to be attacking us. +We have tried to make contact with them on the usual Hyperwave bands, but to no avail. +Even so, I am still quite sure that we are impressing them GREATLY! + +#(WE_IMPRESSED_URQUAN_1) THRAD021.wav +The great gouts of flame! SNORT! The accuracy of our shooting! +We killed THOUSANDS... well at least HUNDREDS! +It was wonderful! It was delirious! +Those few of us who survived will have stories to tell for years to come. +We were marvelous! SNORT! They shook and shivered when they saw us coming! +They were so frightened of us, they froze in their tracks. +That's how scared they were! +Ah, such fighting! SNORT! We will not soon see the like again! + +#(WE_IMPRESSED_URQUAN_2) THRAD022.wav +Oh Yes! We have mightily impressed the Ur-Quan! +We destroyed several of their enemy's dreaded black ships +and severely damaged many more. +Our losses? Well, yes, there were a few. +But we are still very strong! +Make no mistake about that! + +#(HOSTILE_HELIX_HELLO_1) THRAD023.wav +WARNING! You have entered Thraddash Secured Space! +There is nothing valuable here! +Go away! + +#(HOSTILE_HELIX_HELLO_2) THRAD024.wav +Begone Stupid, Ugly Ones! +SNARL! +Leave before we break from our guard posts and give you a good Thraddashing! + + +#(submit_1) +Your blustering does not impress me. We have requirements which you will fulfill, NOW! + +#(NO_SUBMIT_1) THRAD025.wav +Hunh? +Hnyarg?! +WHAT?! +SNARL! YOU SAY WHAT?!!! +Foolish, pitiful, small-headed being +WE WILL DEEESTROY YOUUU AND EVERYBODY ON YOUR SHIP!! + +#(submit_2) +I have secret weapons of great power. Submit, or I shall evaporate your planet. + +#(NO_SUBMIT_2) THRAD026.wav +HARG! HARG! HARG! +We like secret weapons! +We will now give you the opportunity to give them to us. + + +#(be_friends_1) +We wish nothing from you, save your friendship. + +#(NO_FRIENDS_1) THRAD027.wav +Perhaps, after we have made you our slaves, we can accomodate your wishes. +Until then... + +#(be_friends_2) +You are strong! We like strong! We be friends, now, okay? + +#(NO_FRIENDS_2) THRAD028.wav +We are strong. You are weak. And HARG! HARG!... +we HATE weak. +We do not need weak friends! We want only slaves and teachers. +Since you have nothing to teach us and refuse to be our slave +then you are our enemy. +Such logic must be obvious even to a stupid being like yourself. + +#(how_impressed_urquan_1) +How did impressing the Ur-Quan work out? + +#(IMPRESSED_LIKE_SO_1) THRAD029.wav +It was glorious, truly glorious!... for the most part. +It would have been entirely glorious except for two factors. +Factor One: we lost over half our battle fleet during the two-week fracas. +Factor Two: of our casualties, only 60 percent were due to the Ur-Quan's enemy, the dark ships. +SNORT! The remaining 40 percent can be attributed to the Ur-Quan themselves. +We can be certain that we impressed them with at least one achievement +due to the Afterburner modification, we were somewhat harder for them to kill +than when they conquered us in the first place. + +#(how_impressed_urquan_2) +Would you describe the Ur-Quan's enemy ships? + +#(IMPRESSED_LIKE_SO_2) THRAD030.wav +They were black as space itself, with only the occasional glint off their hulls as they turned to fire. +Their weapons were extremely primitive, nothing more than fast-spinning disks of dense metal +yet they penetrated our defensive screens, and inflicted grievous damage +purely through their enormous kinetic energy. +The black ship's secret weapon is their ring of fire +which is VERY effective at short range. +Hey! Wait a minute! What am I doing answering YOUR questions? +Puny human, your time is almost up. Prepare yourself for defeat! + +#(bye_hostile_1) +We leave in peace. + +#(GOODBYE_HOSTILE_1) THRAD031.wav +What? You leave before the lesson begins? We have so much to teach you! +Let us show you just one thing, it's called the `Surprise Attack'. + +#(bye_hostile_2) +I guess we'll just be going now. + +#(GOODBYE_HOSTILE_2) THRAD032.wav +Then I guess we'll just be attacking you now. + +#(why_you_here_hostile) +Explain your presence here, Thraddash. + +#(NONE_OF_YOUR_CONCERN) THRAD033.wav +It is none of your concern, human, SNORT! +Now leave this world before we get REALLY mad! + +#(demand_to_land) +What are you hiding down there? I demand to land! + +#(NO_DEMAND) THRAD034.wav +You will make no demands, stupid captain human dog! +Instead, you will die! + +#(what_about_this_world) +So what's so special about this world? Why all the guards? + +#(BLUE_HELIX) THRAD035.wav +Very well, since we have a huge number of ships here +I guess there can't be much harm in explaining this to you +PROVIDED YOU LEAVE WHEN WE'RE DONE! +So listen carefully. +Below us +on the surface of this planet +on the dark continent of Funt +high on a mountain +in an ancient shrine +resting in a special ceremonial cradle +glowing with its magical blue light +is the +NO! I've changed my mind! You don't get to know the answer. +Sorry. + +#(whats_helix_hostile) +Aw, geez. Come on. That was UNFAIR! + +#(HELIX_IS_HOSTILE) THRAD036.wav +Okay, okay. I guess you're right, it was a bit cruel. I'll tell you. +Let's see, where was I? Oh, right +on the dark continent of Funt +high on a mountain +in an ancient shrine +resting in a special ceremonial cradle +glowing with its magical blue light +is the +AQUA HELIX! +...the most revered of all Thraddash relics +the sign of any Culture's authority. + +#(i_need_to_land_lie) +Uh... I left something important on the surface last week. Can I just go down and get it? + +#(CAUGHT_LIE) THRAD037.wav +Okay. +Go ahead. +Hey, WAIT A MINUTE! +You are after our most ancient and important relic, AREN'T YOU? +You were going to steal it, WEREN'T YOU? SNARL! +You are sneaky and deceptive, just like the vile Culture Sixteeners! +You shall suffer their same fate -- OBLIVION! + + +#(bye_hostile_helix) +We have decided to leave. Goodbye. + +#(GOODBYE_HOSTILE_HELIX) THRAD038.wav +If you hurry, we won't kill you. Goodbye. + +#(DIE_THIEF_1) THRAD039.wav +So it's you! The Thief! The skulking little human weasel! +SNORT! We should not have left the Aqua Helix Planet unguarded! +You have shown us a weakness in ourselves, and for that we thank you. +But we desire the return of the Helix, and since I suspect you won't give it willingly +SNORT! Eat Flaming Death You Gravy Sucking Pig! + +#(DIE_THIEF_2) THRAD040.wav +Ahoy stupid human. You are arrogant and absurd! +You took our wonderful, ancient, sacred Aqua Helix, and refuse to return it! +This makes us mad, EXTREMELY mad! +Prepare to meet thy Doom, alien Thief! + +#(AMAZING_PERFORMANCE) THRAD041.wav + "Admirable! Admirable! We have never witnessed such awesome combat capabilities!" +You have destroyed so many of us! We are humbled in your presence! +We thought you were a weakling, a coward, a pitiful sniveling wimp. +We were wrong, so wrong! WHIMPER! +You have shown yourself superior to ourselves, indeed, even the Ur-Quan! +We wish to learn from you, thus improving our Culture. +Give us your wisdom, mighty Teacher! What is the secret to your success? +Wait! I've got it! It's the way you respond to our hailing calls each time we meet! +Just as they say, first impressions are SO important! +So tell us, please! Tell us how WE should present ourselves. + +#(IMPRESSIVE_PERFORMANCE) THRAD042.wav + "Well, Humans have some backbone after all, but not as much as the Ur-Quan." +A Human ship is a poor second to the Ur-Quan Dreadnought. +Your weapons do not have the killing strength of an Ur-Quan fusion blast. +SNORT! The Ur-Quan are still your betters. + +#(ADEQUATE_PERFORMANCE) THRAD043.wav +Perhaps Humans can fight after all, if our reports are accurate. + "We will test this hypothesis in the laboratory of life -- IN GLORIOUS BATTLE!" +Your puny, inadequate weaponry is no match for the Thraddash Mark 6 Blaster +with its 4 Megawatt energy discharge. + "Nor can your slow, bloated tubs compare to our Flash Turbo-Boosted warships!" +We have nothing to fear! + +#(HELLO_POLITE_1) THRAD044.wav +Hello and good day! How are you today? +We are just fine, thank you! Are your mates and offspring well? +How simply marvelous! + +#(HELLO_POLITE_2) THRAD045.wav +We are the polite and courteous Thraddash! +We greet you with all appropriate felicitations. + +#(HELLO_POLITE_3) THRAD046.wav +Most erudite greetings to you. +As always, we will be most pleased to enter into meaningful discourse with your elevated person. + +#(HELLO_POLITE_4) THRAD047.wav +Greetings and salutations! We trust that all is well with you +and that your stay will be pleasant and beneficial. + + +#(HELLO_RHYME_1) THRAD048.wav +We are the rhyming simons +blancmange rhymes with orange +space is the place +the stars in their courses +cannot catch the horses? +SNORT! This is hard! + +#(HELLO_RHYME_2) THRAD049.wav +Blood is red, bruises are blue +When strangers come here, we run them through!\n +HARG! HARG! HARG! +Good one, eh? + +#(HELLO_RHYME_3) +There once was a Thraddash named Mak-Roni +whose ship was in total caco-phony +He got lost in Apodis +and died in Draconis +Because all that he ate was baloney! +HARG! HARG! HARG! + +#(HELLO_RHYME_4) +Constantly moving are +space, stars, time +SNORT! +form not function +meets in death +remembered. + +#(HELLO_PIG_LATIN_1) THRAD050.wav +Eway areyay ethay igpay atinlay eakingspay Addashthray! Ortsnay! + +#(HELLO_PIG_LATIN_2) THRAD051.wav +Ombatcay! Ecklessray ouragecay! Eakingspay igpay atinlay! +Eway aryay ategray orfay eesethay easonsray! + +#(HELLO_PIG_LATIN_3) THRAD052.wav +Ellohay umanhay! Elcomeway ackbay! E'veway eenbay xpectingay ouyay. + +#(HELLO_PIG_LATIN_4) THRAD053.wav +Eway aypay espectray otay ouryay eategray eachertay! + +#(HELLO_LIKE_YOU_1) THRAD054.wav +This is Grah of the starship Hot Pulsing Thrusters. + +#(HELLO_LIKE_YOU_2) THRAD055.wav +Greetings! I am Captain Chudd in command of the Blazing Guns of Glory! + +#(HELLO_LIKE_YOU_3) THRAD056.wav +Attention! This is the starship Overwhelmer. + +#(HELLO_LIKE_YOU_4) THRAD057.wav +I am commander Dthunk. + + +#(WELCOME_SPACE0) THRAD058.wav +We of +#(WELCOME_SPACE1) THRAD059.wav + are glad to meet you here in space, oh wise Teacher from Earth! + +#(WELCOME_HOMEWORLD0) THRAD060.wav +Your presence here at our homeworld fills all of us +#(WELCOME_HOMEWORLD1) THRAD061.wav + with awe. We are honored, wise human. + +#(WELCOME_HELIX0) THRAD062.wav +Hoy-yo-HO! The super-strong human has returned to this, our most important planet. +We, +#(WELCOME_HELIX1) THRAD063.wav +, bid you welcome. + +#(why_you_here_ally) +What's so special about about this planet? + +#(GUARDING_HELIX_ALLY) THRAD064.wav +We orbit here guarding that most precious of our relics, that which we hold most dearly +that which has been at the heart of all our Cultures +(except for Culture Nine, and they don't really count) +We guard the object which transcends mortal realms +the Aqua Helix! + +#(whats_helix_ally) +So what about this `Aqua Helix' thing? Does it do any tricks? + +#(HELIX_IS_ALLY) THRAD065.wav +The Aqua Helix is our most precious relic. +For the totality of our historical memory, the Helix has been with us. +It guides, motivates and rewards. It is the twisty-thing that launched a thousand ships! +It is the relic all our cultures have held most... oh yeah, I said that already. +We know the Aqua Helix is great +largely because all our previous nineteen cultures have known this to be true! +If the Aqua Helix wasn't anything special +WHY would we spend so much blood and passion over the little thing? +It would be a colossal waste! An absurd travesty!... +...actually, this is much what Culture Nine said +during their two-week period of dominance before Culture Ten wiped them out. +Anyway we remain convinced!... +...we are Thraddash and all Thraddash know the significance of the Aqua Helix. +Therefore, the Aqua Helix IS great! The matter is resolved. + +#(may_i_land) +That sounds really cool! You won't mind if I go down and just kinda look at it, would you? + +#(SURE_LAND) THRAD066.wav +Why certainly, go ahead and land on the planet and take a look at the most precious of all our relics +the relic we hold most dear, as have all our Cultures... + +#(whats_up_ally) +Have there been any developments here that I, your Great Teacher, should know of? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_ALLY_1) THRAD067.wav +Yes, Teacher, there is at least one event of note. +We may have once mentioned our encounters with the tumbling red probes +the ones that attack relentlessly while spouting bizarre peace offerings. +Initially we believed that they were coming from the direction of the Vega star system. +Now we believe the opposite. +Uh.. no, Captain, we don't know what the opposite of Vega is, that's not what we meant. +We now believe that the probes are RETURNING to Vega. +As yet we do not know the nature of their mission. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_ALLY_2) THRAD068.wav +Yes, wise human, let us elaborate. +Two years ago we monitored the entry of two ships into our space. +One was clearly a Dreadnought, the ship of our ex-masters, the Ur-Quan. +The other ship was a dark and ominous ship equally as huge as the Dreadnought. +The vessels were locked in mortal combat. They fought valiantly! +Eventually, the Ur-Quan destroyed the black ship, but not before receiving mortal wounds itself. +The last we saw of the ship, it was tumbling out of control toward Alpha Pavonis. +We do not know its eventual fate. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_ALLY_3) THRAD069.wav +Now that you are our new role-model, I guess it's time to spill the beans on the Ur-Quan. +Unfortunately, we never really got any beans -- secret bits of information, that is. +However, maybe you would like to know about the last time we saw the Ur-Quan. +It was in 2140, I think. All of a sudden, a fleet of Dreadnoughts came storming into our space +quickly refueled, and then left, broadcasting a recorded message +which told us to remain in our old sphere of influence, obey the slave laws, and wait for their return. +The Dreadnought fleet departed in the direction of the Crateris constellation +but where they are now is unknown. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_ALLY_4) THRAD070.wav +This doesn't really count as News, Teacher +but War is truly magnificent isn't it? +The gut wrenching sight of molten warships! +The boiling blood of depressurized soldiers! +I just love it!... +...don't you? + +#(HOW_SHOULD_WE_ACT) THRAD071.wav +We need to learn so much from you, such as +How should we act in our new Culture? What is our direction, our ethical base? + +#(friendly) +Be kind at all times and in all places. Treat each stranger you meet as your best friend. + +#(OK_FRIENDLY) THRAD072.wav +Friendly? Kind? The wisdom escapes me.... ah yes! I understand now! +Being kind, being friendly...this will allow intruders to let their guard down +and when we kill them, they will be too surprised to react! +What a great plan, human! You are truly a great Teacher! + +#(wacky) +Lighten up! Be kind of... you know... Wacky! Here, try watching these vids: Monty Python and the Marx Brothers. + +#(OK_WACKY) THRAD073.wav +Wacky!...Wacky? I do not understand. We shall watch these vids of yours. +We shall study them, to learn to be... wacky. +Then, when we are wacky enough, we shall test our new wackiness in combat +to discover, no doubt, the great advantage it has given us. +Thank you, Great Teacher. + +#(just_like_us) +Look, if you really want a model for your Culture, then be just like us! + +#(OK_JUST_LIKE_YOU) THRAD074.wav +Aha! I see it now. We proceed carefully +we take no undue risks. We slowly build up our strength +and only attack when we have overwhelming odds on our side! +In dealings with other races, we shall question them mercilessly +trying to drag out every last bit of information, and if they are not cooperative +we will threaten them with instant death! +We will be just like you! + +#(WORK_TO_DO) THRAD075.wav +We have much work to do to implement these sweeping cultural changes. +Transferring from the allegiances and mores of one culture to another +is a difficult and time consuming task. +We beg you, great warrior from Earth, give us time to make the changes you have suggested. +Return later to see our brave new world. + +#(contemplative) +Try being more contemplative. Consider the many facets of a single gem... and stuff like that. + +#(OK_CONTEMPLATIVE) THRAD076.wav +Aha! Contemplation, yes! New thought and realizations! With our new studious ways +we shall uncover new methods, inventions and schemes +allowing us to conquer entire civilizations with ease! +Brilliant, human, brilliant! + +#(how_goes_culture) +So how is the new Culture developing? + +#(CONTEMP_GOES_1) THRAD077.wav +Augh! If it were not for our certainty in your wisdom, great Teacher from Earth +we would not have remained a `Contemplative' culture for more than a single day +As it is, we have contemplated our strategies, tactics, our weapons, the stars +the planets, and even our navels +which for a Thraddash is very uncomfortable and requires at least two mirrors. + +#(CONTEMP_GOES_2) THRAD078.wav +So studious! So quiet! So contemplative! +SNORT! +We are not made for this. We are beginning to break out in spots! + +#(FRIENDLY_GOES_1) THRAD079.wav +To be frank, Great Teacher, friendliness suits us Thraddash poorly. +For example, we Thraddash do not have the necessary muscles to `smile' as you suggested we do +so we are now using small plastic prosthetic devices to prop up our lips into the required position. +Very uncomfortable. + +#(FRIENDLY_GOES_2) THRAD080.wav +Try as we might, we just can't make this friendly thing work, Teacher. +Even your idea about exchanging the ritual gifts, the `Fruit Cakes' has had problems. +It seems that nobody actually wants to eat the Fruit Cakes +however, on the plus side, due to the Fruit Cakes' density and other physical characteristics +they make excellent projectile weapons! + +#(WACKY_GOES_1) THRAD081.wav +We have studied and studied the vids you left with us, oh Great Teacher +but we fear we are unable to grasp the essential truth and power of being wacky. +For example, last month, in an attempt to be spontaneously absurd +I turned to my subordinate and in a high-modulated tone of voice +explained that there was a penguin sitting on the vidscreen. +Not knowing what a penguin was, my subordinate spun to face the vidscreen +his hydraulic holster snapping his weapon into his hand. +BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! +The penguin, the vidscreen, and a large section of the wall were destroyed. +You see, Captain. Perhaps we are not suited to being wacky\n +and SNIFF!... that was my only penguin. + +#(WACKY_GOES_2) THRAD082.wav +We are getting a better handle on this wacky thing. The key?...Slapstick! +We Thraddash have found our mode, our idiom, our way to be wacky. +Jabbing the eyes with outstretched digits! Striking the head with planks! +HARG! HARG! HARG! We like and understand this perfectly, Captain. +And with the addition of our native elements, high-explosives and nausea gas +Thraddash space has become Pratfall City! + +#(LIKE_YOU_GOES_1) THRAD083.wav +Things are proceeding well, Captain. +We have discovered one item which may interest you. +There is an unusual world orbiting Epsilon Draconis, in close solar orbit. +Though it radiates energies which scramble our sensors +we can detect many radioactive substances on the surface. +We suspect that this is one of the so-called `Precursor Dumps' +described in some ancient text fragments we found in Alpha Apodis. +The text goes on to say that these Dumps are in some kind of pattern +though what the pattern may be remains a mystery. +For now, that is all. + +#(LIKE_YOU_GOES_2) THRAD084.wav +A long-range scouting team was sent to explore the stars in the Lyncis constellation. +On planet I of Delta Lyncis, they encountered a life form so dangerous, so hostile +that it almost killed the entire landing party. +We know you seek information on lifeforms, Great Teacher +and we hope this information has been of use. + +#(bye_ally) +Goodbye to you, my Thraddash students. + +#(GOODBYE_ALLY_1) THRAD085.wav +We eagerly await your return, Great Teacher. + +#(GOODBYE_ALLY_2) THRAD086.wav +We will await your return and further enlightenment with great anticipation. + +#(GOODBYE_ALLY_3) THRAD087.wav +Try not to get killed, Teacher. + +#(GOODBYE_ALLY_4) THRAD088.wav +Farewell Great Teacher. + +#(be_polite) +Try being polite and friendly in your greetings. + +#(OK_POLITE) THRAD089.wav +Ok, we will be polite. +That will cause visitors to let their guard down +and then we attack them! +Yes, that is an excellent plan! + +#(speak_pig_latin) +To really capture the spirit of Interstellar Diplomactic Protocol you should speak pig latin. + +#(OK_PIG_LATIN) THRAD090.wav +Pig-Latin, eh? Isn't that where you take the first letter or two of a word, put it at the end +and then add an `ay' at the very end? Hmm.. let me try +`Upidstay Eaturecray! Eparepray otay ieday!' +Hey! I like that! It gives one the semblance of wit and education +without all that dreary studying! +Just one question, Great Teacher. How do you say `example' in pig latin? + +#(use_rhymes) +I know for a fact that rhyming in your introductions wins big points. + +#(OK_RHYMES) THRAD091.wav +Rhymes? Like in poetry? SNORT! +Isn't that kind of... you know... not-tough stuff? +SNORT! What am I saying! You are the Great Teacher! You know best! +If rhyming is necessary, then Teacher we will be rhyming all the timing. + +#(just_the_way_we_do) +Just greet people the way we do. + +#(OK_WAY_YOU_DO) THRAD092.wav +Hmmm... okay. I see. +When necessary, we will be obsequious and kowtow +and the rest of the time, we will bluster and threaten! +How simple! + +#(WHAT_NAME_FOR_CULTURE) THRAD093.wav +Now that we understand the nuances of introduction, Great Teacher +we have an even more significant question. +Your devastation of our battle forces have shown us +that our Cultrue Nineteen is inferior to your own +therfore, we will adopt your methods, your techniques +but what shall we name our new Culture? + +#(alliance_name) +How about the + +#(OK_ALLIANCE_NAME) THRAD094.wav +Okay, the + +#(NAME_TAIL) THRAD095.wav + + +#(you_decide) +I think it is important that with this new direction, you decide on your new name. + +#(OK_CULTURE_20) THRAD096.wav +You are wise, Great Teacher. I will think long and hard on this matter +GRUNT! +It must reflect the profound changes in our social order. +GRUNT! +It must clearly explain the nature of our civilization! +GRUNT! +Yes! I have it! The perfect name is +Culture Twenty! + +#(fat) +How about `The Fat Obstreperous Jerks'? + +#(OK_FAT) THRAD097.wav +I like it! This name, being such an obvious contrast to our true nature +will fool our enemies into believing we are harmless +because surely only fools would let themselves be known by such a name! +Once again, Great Teacher, you have shown your wisdom. We thank you. +From this day forward, we are the Fat Obstreperous Jerks! + +#(the_slave_empire) +It will be + +#(OK_SLAVE) THRAD098.wav +Ulp! Well... you're the one with the big starship +So be it + +#(FAT_JERKS) THRAD099.wav +Fat Obstreperous Jerks + +#(CULTURE) THRAD100.wav +Culture Twenty + +#(SLAVE_EMPIRE) THRAD101.wav +The Glorious Slave Empire of + +#(name_1) +The New Alliance of Free Stars + +#(name_2) +The Concordance of Alien Nations + +#(name_3) +The United Federation of Worlds + +#(name_40) +The Empire of +#(name_41) +! + +#(HAVING_FUN_WITH_ILWRATH_1) THRAD102.wav +Oh! The Glory of these many battles! +The stupid Ilwrath are easy kills for our valiant warriors, SNORT! +We kill fully two of them for every one of us who perishes! +Of course, they possess twice our number of fighting ships +but that is not truly significant! +It was your wisdom and guidance that made this all possible, Great Teacher! +Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! + +#(HAVING_FUN_WITH_ILWRATH_2) THRAD103.wav +The exploding starships! The screaming crew! +The direct hits, the cunning escapes! +These are the moments we live for! +Now we must return to the great battles! +Farewell, Great Teacher. + +#(GO_AWAY_FIGHTING_ILWRATH_1) THRAD104.wav +So, it is a stupid, ungainly human. +I thought we killed you... never mind. It is unimportant now. +We are in the midst of a great and glorious war. +The Ilwrath religious fanatics have chosen to attack us +and our brilliant defense is decimating them! +Of course we are taking small casualties, but that is acceptable. +Why am I wasting my time here with you? +I could be out there, winning honor and glory fighting the idiot spiders. +Depart human, your death is not worth the cost of my ammunition. + +#(GO_AWAY_FIGHTING_ILWRATH_2) THRAD105.wav +Stop bothering us, human! +Can't you see that we are fighting the most perfect war of our Nineteen Cultures? +We have brought the Ilwrath to their knee equivalents! +Now all that remains is the coup de grace -- their final annihilation! +So clear my path, alien dog, before I blast it clear myself! + diff --git a/sc2/content/comm/umgah/umga0001.pcx b/sc2/content/comm/umgah/umga0001.pcx new file mode 100755 index 000000000..0008c8169 Binary files /dev/null and b/sc2/content/comm/umgah/umga0001.pcx differ diff --git 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Har! Har! Har! +Must say, your appearance here comes as quite surprise to us! +We never expected to see any of you ever again +after Ur-Quan masters put your species under slave shield! + +#(HWLD_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_2) UMGAH001.wav +Hey look everybody! Human Earthling came back! +Har! Har! Har! Wonder if we'll kill him this time? +Har! Har! Har! + +#(HWLD_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_3) UMGAH002.wav +You're back? Har! Har! Har! More fun! More fun! + +#(HWLD_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_4) UMGAH003.wav +Howdy human Earthling! Back for more fun? + + +#(SPACE_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_1) UMGAH004.wav +Well bloat my belly! It a human Earthling! +Har! Har! Har! Haven't seen a human Earthling since... since +why heck! NEVER seen a human Earthling! +What coincidence! + +#(SPACE_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_2) UMGAH005.wav +Hi there human! How old fluid sacks today? +What?! You don't HAVE fluid sacks? +Har! Har! Har! What do you call your mate then?!! Har! Har! Har!... +you don't HAVE mate? +THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER! Har! Har! Har! + +#(SPACE_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_3) UMGAH006.wav +Hi there, human Earthling! What'cha here for today? +What? Can't quite hear you? You have to speak up! +Hey! What problem here? +Human Earthling making fun of me? +THIS SOME KIND OF STUPID HUMAN EARTHLING TRICK? BECAUSE IF IS +Har! Har! Har!... fooled ya, didn't I? + +#(SPACE_PRE_ZOMBIE_HELLO_4) UMGAH007.wav +Yo! Human Earthling! What up?! + + +#(UNKNOWN_ZOMBIE_HELLO_1) UMGAH008.wav +HELLO. HUMAN. EARTHLING. +HAR. + +#(UNKNOWN_ZOMBIE_HELLO_2) UMGAH009.wav +HAPPY. GREETINGS. AND. WELCOME. EARTHLING. HUMAN. +HAR. + +#(UNKNOWN_ZOMBIE_HELLO_3) UMGAH010.wav +WHAT. SO. FUNNY. HUMAN. EARTHLING. YOUR. FACE. FUNNY. THING. +HAR. + +#(UNKNOWN_ZOMBIE_HELLO_4) UMGAH011.wav +WE. FUNNY. UMGAH. SO. FUNNY. +HAR. + + +#(DESTROY_INTERFERER_1) UMGAH012.wav +THE. HUMAN. INTERFERES. WITH. PLAN. +KILL. IT. + +#(DESTROY_INTERFERER_2) UMGAH013.wav +STOP. THE. HUMAN. DESTROY. VESSEL. + +#(DESTROY_INTERFERER_3) UMGAH014.wav +NO. DELAYS. IN. PLAN. TOLERATED. +ELIMINATE. HUMAN. + +#(DESTROY_INTERFERER_4) UMGAH015.wav +DESTROY. HUMAN. IMMEDIATELY. + + +#(REVEALED_ZOMBIE_HELLO_1) UMGAH016.wav +HUMAN. KNOWS. TOO. MUCH. IT. MUST. NOT. ESCAPE. + +#(REVEALED_ZOMBIE_HELLO_2) UMGAH017.wav +HUMAN. EARTHLING. CEASE. MOTION. AND. DE-ENERGIZE. SHIP. SO. WE. CAN. GIVE. GIFT. + +#(REVEALED_ZOMBIE_HELLO_3) UMGAH018.wav +CEASE. HOSTILITIES. WE. HAVE. CHANGED. OUR. MINDS. WE. LIKE. YOU. COME. CLOSER. + +#(REVEALED_ZOMBIE_HELLO_4) UMGAH019.wav +RESISTANCE. IS. USELESS. HUMAN. EARTHLING. + + +#(HOSTILE_HELLO_1) UMGAH020.wav +Hello human Earthling savior! +Although we appreciate your efforts on our behalf +we really hate `Eternal Gratitude' stuff, so we've decided to kill you now. +Har! Har! Har! We pretty crazy blobbies, no?! + +#(HOSTILE_HELLO_2) UMGAH021.wav +Well pop my pupae! It human Earthling again! +It just doesn't learn, does it? To Arms! To Arms!... wait a minute! Don't HAVE any arms! +AIEE!! MY ARMS!! WHO HAS STOLEN MY ARMS!!! AIEEE!! ARM THIEF!!! +Har! Har! Har!... Never HAD any arms! Har! Har! Har! + +#(HOSTILE_HELLO_3) UMGAH022.wav +Look, we all decided that our treating you this way +and by that mean, attacking you without mercy all time +well, we decided that it just plain unfair. +REALLY, after all things you've done for our people! +So we decided to make you our honorary KING! Congratulations! +Braankk!! +What that sound, officer Flubbo? It was? You sure? King-Killing Horn? +Har! Har! Har! What a sad coincidence, eh, Captain King? + +#(HOSTILE_HELLO_4) UMGAH023.wav +Ho-ho! Human Earthling has returned to claim its reward! +What reward you ask? Why this reward, of course! + + +#(REWARD_AT_HOMEWORLD_1) UMGAH024.wav +Hurray! Hurray! It human Earthling! Our Savior!! +Oh hurry, human Earthling, HURRY! Your reward awaits at our homeworld! +In case you have forgotten, that at Beta Orionis! +Hurry, human Earthling, HURRY! +(Har! Har! Har!) + +#(REWARD_AT_HOMEWORLD_2) UMGAH025.wav +Hust! Hust! You must make haste, human Earthling! +Sooner you go to our homeworld at Beta Orionis +sooner you shall receive your reward! + +#(POST_ZOMBIE_HWLD_HELLO) UMGAH026.wav +HAIL! HAIL! Human Earthling! GREAT HERO HAS RETURNED! +Oh, my lipids quivering just looking at him on monitor! +What smile! What sparkling eyes! What nice bony structure! +He one who has saved us from mental compulsion of evil Talking Pet! +HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! +Oh Great Hero! We grateful species! Speak to us! How we reward you?! + +#(owe_me_big_time) +Yup! That's right! You guys owe me BIG time. + +#(our_largesse) +Gentle blobbies, please calm yourselves. We act solely from largesse. Rewards are unnecessary. + +#(GIVE_LIFEDATA) UMGAH027.wav +No! No! You too humble! We must reward your deeds of courage! +Killing Talking Pet was a feat none of our species could perform! +You superior! You Hero! +HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! +We MUST reward you!... but what do we have to give? +Protoplasm?... no, not easily appreciated. +Vigorous esters?... no, too common. +HAVE IT! GENETIC MODIFICATION!! YES! IT PERFECT GIFT!! +Listen human Earthling! We add some extra eyes! A few tentacles! +Other organs of whatever size and shape you desire!! +What?! You not want more organs?... You sure?... How strange... how sad. +This was best gift. We Umgah have nothing but vast supply of biological skills and data. +Huh? What you say? +You want Biological Data?! Just plain raw Biological Data? +What you do with it? +Oh, well, you Hero. Whatever you want, you get. +We hope one thousand units sufficient. + +#(THANKS) UMGAH028.wav +HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! +You right! We do owe you! We MUST reward you!... but what we have to give? +Protoplasm?... no, not easily appreciated. +Vigorous esters?... no, too common +HAVE IT! GENETIC MODIFICATION!! YES! IT PERFECT GIFT!! +Listen human Earthling! We add some extra eyes! A few tentacles! +Other organs of whatever size and shape you desire!! +What?! You not want more organs?... How strange... how sad. +This was best gift. We Umgah have nothing but vast supply of biological skills and data. +Huh? What did you say? +You want Biological Data?! Just plain raw Biological Data? +What you do with it? +Oh, well, you Hero. Whatever you want, you get. +We hope one thousand units sufficient. + +#(what_do_with_tpet) +So how did that Talking Pet get control of your species? + +#(TRICK_URQUAN) UMGAH029.wav +Well Ariloulaleelay, who kind of our neighbors, gave us Talking Pet +hoping we could heal it more severe injuries, which we did. +While we working on it, we do routine brain structure scan +and discovered that creature had extemely sophisticated set of neural pathways +even more complex than own! +Further analysis showed that with minor genetic manipulations +Talking Pet intelligence greatly expanded, perhaps even to sentience! +Little did know what monster we creating. +Only a few hours after injected nanots with modification program, creature wakes up. +Almost immediately, took control of Hospital... then city... then whole planet. +We try to resist, but creature, even in a drugged, weakened state, too strong. +From that day on, we just mindless slaves who lived only serve Talking Pet, and `Big Plan'. +What `Big Plan'? +We never quite sure about details of `Big Plan', except it involved getting revenge +and mean LOTS of revenge... +against Ur-Quan masters. + +#(any_jokes) +Why the Ur-Quan? What did it have against them? + +#(SURE) UMGAH030.wav +We don't know, but whatever it was, must been pretty bad +because Talking Pet mad... REAL mad! How mad, you ask? +Blowing up planets and eating juveniles mad! That how mad. +We got impression Ur-Quan did something awful to Talking Pet or maybe even whole species. +Whatever it was, it worse than slavery +maybe even worse than death. + +#(what_before_tpet) +So what should I do with the Talking Pet? + +#(TRKD_SPATHI_AND_ILWRATH) UMGAH031.wav +You mean, CORPSE of Talking Pet, don't you Captain?! +DID kill it, didn't you?! + +#(where_caster) +Er... yeah! That's right. Real dead. So what should I do with its corpse? + +#(SPATHI_TOOK_THEM) UMGAH032.wav +Hmmm... as general rule, corpses aren't too much fun. +When we were first starting to mess with its brain +our intention to get it smart enough to accept orders from us +and then repeat them as though they legitimate Ur-Quan commands. +Har! Har! Har! We going to play a little joke this way! +We going to use Talking Pet to order Spathi to attack VUX! +Har! Har Har! That been great! ZAP! ZAP! KABOOM!!! Har! Har! Har!... +...even better than old Dogar and Kazon routine we pull on Ilwrath few years back +before those spoil-sport Spathi stole super cool HyperWave `Caster. + +#(so_what_for_now) +So, since I'm your Great Hero Guy, tell me all your secrets. + +#(DO_THIS_NOW) UMGAH033.wav +Secrets, huh? You want secrets? OUR SECRETS!? YOU MADE FATAL MISTAKE, HUMAN!! +... Har! Har! Har! Good joke, eh? Scared you! +Sure! We'll tell our secrets. Now let me see... what ARE secrets? +Oh, yeah!... remember! It about Mycons! +You see, Mycons only other race we know of +that have same kind of biotechincal skills as Umgah. +But amazing thing that they do all with their own bodies, don't need tools. +They just THINK genetic modification, and it happen! +We found that pretty hard understand, so when nobody looking, we clonk one on head +bring it back here to homeworld and slice it up for detailed study. +Those guys not product of ANY natural evolutionary process +they constructs!... some kind of multi-purpose biological tool. +We don't know who made them or for what purpose +but they WAY beyond anything we ever heard of. +We not figure out much more before tissue samples all gross +so guess that pretty much all of big secret. +Oh... do us a favor? Please not tell anybody about clonking Mycon. +It kind of against Ur-Quan Laws, and not want get Mycons mad at us. + +#(bye_post_zombie) +Well, your Great Hero must leave now, but rest assured, I'll be back. + +#(FUNNY_IDEA) UMGAH034.wav +You know, Great Hero... I getting this funny feeling. +Would like to know what feeling is? Good, I tell you. +My feeling that Great Hero stuff... well, boring... not funny at all. +You only say HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! so many times before starts to lose appeal +so +instituting slight deviation in course of our relationship. +Specifically, instead of being dull and lifeless Great Hero +you now glamorous and exciting... Great Enemy! +We give you some our Drone ships to make even more interesting! +Yes! This going to be LOTS more fun! +Here... let me show you. + + + +#(whats_up_pre_zombie) +Umgah! Reveal your secrets! + +#(GENERAL_INFO_PRE_ZOMBIE) UMGAH035.wav +Okay, since you ask so nicely, we will tell you a thing or two. +For instance, did know that even now we performing surgery on Talking Pet? +Arilou found it alone and dying in wreck of Ur-Quan Dreadnought on Alpha Pavonis . +They couldn't heal so they brought to us. +We discovered that animal has potential for high intelligence +provided we make few minor genetic modifications. + +#(evil_blobbies_give_up) +Evil blobbies. You must submit to our overwhelming power! + +#(NOT_EVIL_BLOBBIES) UMGAH036.wav +Har! Har! Har! GOOD JOKE!! +We use it on someone else real soon. + +#(evil_blobbies_must_die) +No! I was serious. You ARE evil blobbies. You MUST die. + +#(OH_NO_WE_WONT) UMGAH037.wav +Har! Har! Har! Even funnier! + +#(can_we_be_friends) +Look, I know we've had our differences in the past, but can't we be friends? + +#(SURE_FRIENDS) UMGAH038.wav +Sure! Sure! Friends for sure! +Who cares about boring old Ur-Quan and their slave laws? Har! Har! Har! +Here we come to say hello to new friends! +(Har! Har! Har!) + +#(want_to_defeat_urquan) +Here's our credo: Freedom from Ur-Quan! What do you say? + +#(FINE_BY_US) UMGAH039.wav +Har! Har! Har! Freedom very good thing! +It so much easier to make good jokes without boring old Ur-Quan slave laws! +We wanting to pull a real good one on those stupid nosers from Draconis for long time +but since they battle thralls too, we not allowed do even small pranks on them +like, say... dropping planetoid in their ocean. +Big waves! Big waves! Har! Har! Har! + +#(bye_pre_zombie) +Well Umgah. It has been fascinating, but I must go. + +#(GOODBYE_PRE_ZOMBIE) UMGAH040.wav +Har! Har! Har! Hey wait human Earthling! Here best part! + +#(threat) +Evil blobbies, your craven nature is revealed! Submit! + +#(NO_THREAT) UMGAH041.wav +IF. COMPREHEND. TRUE. NATURE. MUST. BE. ELIMINATED. + +#(whats_up_zombies) +So Umgah, what have you been up to these past twenty years? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_ZOMBIE) UMGAH042.wav +NOTHING. HAPPEN. LAST. TWENTY. YEARS. VERY. BORING. + +#(how_goes_tpet) +So how goes your work on that Talking Pet? + +#(WHAT_TPET) UMGAH043.wav +WHAT. TALKING. PET. DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. REFERENCE. + +#(you_told_us) +You told us you were modifying a Talking Pet, didn't you? + +#(SADLY_IT_DIED) UMGAH044.wav +SADLY. IT. DIED. +NO. MORE. TALK. ABOUT. IT. + +#(dont_believe) +You know, I just don't believe you. What are you hiding? + +#(THEN_DIE) UMGAH045.wav +HUMAN. POSSESSES. FORBIDDEN. KNOWLEDGE. +NO. INTERFERENCE. IN. PLAN. CAN. BE. TOLERATED. +HUMAN. MUST. BE. ELIMINATED. + +#(bye_unknown) +If I try to leave, are you going to attack me? + +#(GOODBYE_UNKNOWN) UMGAH046.wav +NO. LEAVE. + +#(evil_blobbies) +You are evil blobbies, I say! Avast! + +#(YES_VERY_EVIL) UMGAH047.wav +YES. WE. ARE. VERY. EVIL. +YOUR. BEST. PLAN. IS. TO. DEPART. AND. NEVER. RETURN. + +#(give_up_or_die) +Surrender to me HERE and NOW or I shall vaporize you! + +#(NOT_GIVE_UP) UMGAH048.wav +HUMAN. INTERFERENCE. REACHES. INTOLERABLE. LEVEL. +PLAN. MUST. NOT. BE. DELAYED. +ELIMINATE. HUMAN. + +#(we_vindicator0) +I am Captain + +#(we_vindicator1) +, of the starship + +#(we_vindicator2) +. What is your response? + +#(GOOD_FOR_YOU_1) UMGAH049.wav +WE. RESPOND. WITH. APPROPRIATE. AWE. AND. RESPECT. +NOW. GO. AWAY. + +#(come_in_peace) +Our message is Peace Between All Species!... blobbies included. + +#(GOOD_FOR_YOU_2) UMGAH050.wav +YES. PEACE. GOOD. WE. WANT. PEACE. ALSO. +DEMONSTRATE. PEACE. NOW. BY. DEPARTING. OUR. SPACE. IMMEDIATELY. + +#(know_any_jokes) +Umgah humor is renowned across space, so... know any good jokes?! + +#(JOKE_1) UMGAH051.wav +JOKE. YES. JOKE. HERE. IS. JOKE. +WHEN. IS. A. SLAVE. NOT. A. SLAVE. +ANSWER. +WHEN. HE. IS. A. SLAVE. MASTER. + +#(better_joke) +Uh... that wasn't very funny. Can't you do better? + +#(JOKE_2) UMGAH052.wav + +BETTER. JOKE. YES. BETTER. JOKE. HERE. IT. IS +WHAT. YOU. GET. WHEN. COMBINE. DEUTERIUM. PELLET. TERRAWATT. LASER. +AND. PRIMITIVE. EARTH. LEADER. FROM. ASIAN. STEPPES. +ANSWER. +KHAN. FUSION. + +#(not_very_funny) +Ugh! That wasn't a very good joke either. I don't think you guys are very funny. + +#(YES_WE_ARE) UMGAH053.wav +UMGAH. ARE. FUNNY. WE. ARE. UMGAH. WE. ARE FUNNY. +THERE. IS. NO. ALTERNATIVE. + +#(what_about_tpet) +So how's that Talking Pet getting along? + +#(arilou_told_us) +The Arilou told us they had given it to you... they did, right? + +#(bye_zombie) +Goodbye Umgah. I wish I could say it's been fun. + +#(GOODBYE_ZOMBIE) UMGAH054.wav +GOODBYE. HUMAN. EARTHLING. DO. NOT. 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--git a/sc2/content/comm/urquan/urquan.txt b/sc2/content/comm/urquan/urquan.txt new file mode 100755 index 000000000..17bbfff30 --- /dev/null +++ b/sc2/content/comm/urquan/urquan.txt @@ -0,0 +1,383 @@ +#(HELLO_SAMATRA) URQUA000.wav +You may not approach the ancient Sa-Matra, the symbol of Ur-Quan dominance! +Your presence here is further violation of the slave laws +which your species have already violated so flagrantly. +We cannot tolerate such insubordination! +Your species' penalty shall be annihilation! + +#(SENSE_EVIL) URQUA001.wav +There is something wrong here... something which makes my sheath retract and my talons ooze. +I sense the ugliness of a thousand evil thoughts +and I have located the source of these fetid emanations. +They come from aboard your vessel! +Foolish renegade human, why have you come here? All that you have found +is your inevitable punishment. + +#(INIT_URQUAN_WAKE_UP) URQUA002.wav +...in addition, your refusal to answer our transmissions is taken as an insult +which shall earn you the reward of Death unless you respond immediately! + +#(where_am_i) +Hey!? Where am I? + +#(YOU_ARE_HERE) URQUA003.wav +Your insubordination is intolerable! +You MUST obey the slave laws, or face our gruesome punishment! + +#(why_does_my_head_hurt) +Why does my head hurt? + +#(HURTS_BECAUSE) URQUA004.wav +You forget that the consequences of your misbehavior +will cause great suffering for your entire people. + +#(what_about_2_weeks) +Wow!? Where did the last two weeks go? + +#(ABOUT_2_WEEKS) URQUA005.wav +We have been lenient with your species, because you are so immature. +Now this attitude has changed. +You WILL be held responsible for your malfeasance! + +#(compulsion) +Whoa! I must have been under some form of weird mental compulsion. + +#(WHAT_COMPULSION) URQUA006.wav +WHAT DID YOU SAY?! +COMPULSION!? +WHAT HAPPENED?! EXPLAIN! + +#(wascally_little_guy) +It was this wascally little guy in Umgah space. He did it! + +#(WHAT_IT_LOOK_LIKE) URQUA007.wav +WHAT DID THE CREATURE LOOK LIKE?! + +#(terran_amphibian) +It resembled a large, terran amphibian. + +#(talking_pet_on_steroids) +It looked like one of your Talking Pets on brain steroids. + +#(BAD_NEWS) URQUA008.wav +A Talking Pet with compulsion powers! +This is grave news indeed, the worst in millenia! +We will speed the war against our cousins, the Kohr-Ah +then we shall deal with this neo-Dnyarri, this Talking Pet. +Alien Captain! You have done a service for us greater than you can possibly imagine. +Your reward is continued survival, and if you return to Earth and destroy your vessel IMMEDIATELY +we will abolish all punishment against you and your species. +Now leave!... and never return. + +#(turd_and_toad) +Kind of like a cross between a turd and a toad. + +#(WHAT_IS_TURD_AND_TOAD) URQUA009.wav +These references are obscure. Respecify. + +#(alien_mind_control) +I think I was attacked by some form of alien mind control! + +#(WHAT_FELT_LIKE) URQUA010.wav +WHAT?!! OH NO!!! +IT CANNOT BE! +QUICK HUMAN! TELL ME: WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE, THIS COMPULSION? + +#(possessed_by_devil) +I am fairly sure that I was possessed by the devil. + +#(STUPID_DEVIL) URQUA011.wav +Devil? The only real devils are the ones flying the dark ships, human +the murderous Kohr-Ah. +NOW GIVE ME THE INFORMATION I DEMAND! + +#(falling_asleep) +It was like I fell asleep, or was unconscious. + +#(someone_else_controlled) +I felt like someone had control of my mind and my body. + +#(SOUNDS_FAMILIAR) URQUA012.wav +This sounds all too familiar... yes, the nightmare begins again. +Perhaps we should contact the Kohr-Ah Primat, explain to her. +No, they will not believe. They are too stubborn and simple-minded. +They will not see the danger until it is too late! +Human, begone! Leave my sight! We must defeat the Kohr-Ah speedily +so that we can attend to this new Dnyarri menace. + +#(before_coffee) +Kind of like the screen went dark, and then POW! here you were. + +#(EXPLAIN) URQUA013.wav +WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! ELUCIDATE! + +#(why_explain) +Why should I explain this to you? You're just going to try to kill me! + +#(MUST_EXPLAIN) URQUA014.wav +Human. We Ur-Quan never lie. NEVER! +It is a weakness to lie, and as you haven't noticed, the Ur-Quan are not weak! +So listen, and believe these words +if what you say is true, you were in contact with a creature so horrible, so evil +that it makes ANYTHING else you have ever known TRIVIAL by comparison. +There is no equal to the Dnyarri's cruelty, to its love for torment. +Dying a THOUSAND TIMES would be preferable to what is in store for you +if we do not stop that creature. +So tell me what I want to know, human. NOW! + +#(bye_init_hypno) +Look, ah... this was all a mistake. A weird mistake. Bye! + +#(GOODBYE_AND_DIE_INIT_HYPNO) URQUA015.wav +Your insolence knows no bounds! +You will be punished. + + +#(SUBSEQUENT_URQUAN_WAKE_UP) URQUA016.wav +...and again you have violated our great battlefield +interfered with our Doctrinal War! +We were tolerant last time, and permitted you to escape. +This time, you shall not be so fortunate. + +#(uh_oh) +Uh oh. + +#(NO_UH_OH) URQUA017.wav +It is as though your species' brain is too small to hold a simple thought +such as, WE WILL KILL YOU FOR DISOBEYING! +This is not a complex idea. + +#(stop_meeting) +We have just GOT to stop meeting like this! + +#(NO_STOP_MEETING) URQUA018.wav +You boldly enter our space! Approach this Dreadnought as though it were a recreation base +and then play the dumb hominid? +Who do you take us for, Captain... Spathi!? + +#(bye_sub_hypno) +Look, ah... big mistake! We're in a hurry! Goodbye. + +#(GOODBYE_AND_DIE_SUB_HYPNO) URQUA019.wav +We cannot permit such disobedience from our slaves. +You will make an example for the rest of our subordinates. + +#(CAUGHT_YA) URQUA020.wav +SO! THE OFFSPRING HAS RETURNED TO ITS NEST! +When you left this system, our ship was near enough to detect your translation into HyperSpace. +Though we lost your HyperSpace spoor, we were able to backtrack your path here to this star system. +And what did we FIND? An outlaw culture! Humans outside of a slave shield! +You will note that this oversight has been rectified. +Now, we shall finish the job. + +#(INIT_FLEE_HUMAN) URQUA021.wav +So... it is the human slave. +How strange. I would have thought your species was extinct by now. +We have a suggestion for you. +FLEE! Run as fast and as far as your ship will take you. + +#(SUBSEQUENT_FLEE_HUMAN) URQUA022.wav +Human? You are a fool! Why are you still here? +Flee!... before the Kohr-Ah find you! + +#(why_flee) +Why should we run away? + +#(FLEE_BECAUSE) URQUA023.wav +Because you are doomed if you remain here! +Our Doctrinal War is over. We, the Kzer-Za, have lost. +RUN HUMAN! +Because if you do not run -- do not find somewhere to hide and nurture your species +you are extinct, and we, who have tried to protect you +are now powerless to stop the killing frenzy of the Kohr-Ah. + +#(what_happens_now) +So what happens now? + +#(HAPPENS_NOW) URQUA024.wav +Now the Kohr-Ah and their Eternal Doctrine have free reign in these stars. +The Kohr-Ah will visit each of our slave races, staying only long enough +to ensure than not one of the species remains alive. + +#(what_about_you) +So what happens to you? + +#(ABOUT_US) URQUA025.wav +Human, days ago, I would have killed you for your insolence +but now... what is the use? You and your kind will receive the ultimate punishment soon enough. +I will tell you what you wish to know. +While the Kohr-Ah move through space, killing your neighboring species +we shall remain here, guarding the trophy... the Sa-Matra. +When the Kohr-Ah are done with their dark business +they will take possession of the Sa-Matra, and then we will part ways +traversing the galaxy in opposite directions, fulfilling our doctrines +and preparing for our next Doctrinal War. + +#(bye_wars_over) +Well, it's been less than uplifting. Bye. + +#(GOODBYE_WARS_OVER) URQUA026.wav +Farewell human. I hope your species survives. + +#(SEND_MESSAGE) URQUA027.wav +Attention interloper - heed this recorded message! +This drone-vessel speaks with the voice and authority of the Ur-Quan. +You are trespassing within Ur-Quan space. +This world, Earth, may not be approached for any reason. +Nor will hostilities against our orbital platform be tolerated. +In addition, your ship does not respond to standard Hierarachy identification transmissions +and is therefore deemed to be... independent. +This is not permissible -- only subservience shall be tolerated. +This drone now leaves to inform the Ur-Quan of your transgressions. +You are commanded to remain here and await the arrival of the Ur-Quan. +Disobedience will be punished. + +#(INIT_HELLO) URQUA028.wav +WHAT! A human in a Precursor service vehicle?! +How did you escape the slave shield, human? +Or are you a rogue? + +#(SUBSEQUENT_HELLO_1) URQUA029.wav +Human, you have ignored our commands and now you will be punished. + +#(SUBSEQUENT_HELLO_2) URQUA030.wav +Your insubordination is intolerable! +You MUST obey our slave laws! +Further disobedience will result in punitive measures against your homeworld. + +#(SUBSEQUENT_HELLO_3) URQUA031.wav +We will give you no more warnings, renegade human. + +#(SUBSEQUENT_HELLO_4) URQUA032.wav +We will give you no more warnings, renegade human. + +#(you_must_surrender) +Uh... surrender foul creature! + +#(NOPE) URQUA033.wav +Submit or die foolish human! + +#(i_surrender) +Okay. I guess I surrender. + +#(DISOBEDIENCE_PUNISHED) URQUA034.wav +We will not kill your entire crew +only those responsible for decision making +specifically YOU, Captain, and your officers. + +#(i_wont_surrender) +Nope! I won't surrender! + +#(BAD_CHOICE) URQUA035.wav +You have made the incorrect choice +and now you must suffer the consequences of your mistake. + +#(i_will_surrender) +I really, really, honestly surrender. I mean it. No kidding. + +#(GOOD_CHOICE) URQUA036.wav +Your wise decision has spared many of your crew the pain of death. +However, as the commanding officer of your renegade vessel +you will bear the full extent of the defined punishment +which is death... + +#(key_phrase) +Hold! What you are doing to us is wrong! Why do you do this thing? + +#(URQUAN_STORY) URQUA037.wav +Alien, you have spoken the Words, and you have spoken them rightly. +We will tell you our reasons why we enslave all other sentient life. +We evolved on a hostile world, the descendants of solitary hunters. +In those ancient days, there was no Kohr-Ah or Kzer-Za, only the Ur-Quan. +We explored our world, and then the space beyond. +Here we met the six races of the Sentient Milieu, which we joined as partners. +It was on a routine planetfall that one of our Milieu scoutships first met the Dnyarri. +They were evilly intelligent creatures who could control the minds of others. +They wanted to rule the universe. We had no choice but to give it to them. +For thousands of years, we were unthinking slaves to the Dnyarri. +The Dnyarri had a special liking for us Ur-Quan +so they began to tinker with our genes. They built two Ur-Quan sub-races +one Green, the thinkers and planners +the other Black, the warriors and laborers. +When the martyred genius Kzer-Za gave us the secret to defeating the Dnyarri, we destroyed them. +Then we decided that we would never again be slaves. +We would follow the Path of Now and Forever. +We decided to enslave or imprison all other intelligent life in the galaxy. +We had slave-shielded one world, when we learned that the Black Ur-Quan +under a new leader, Kohr-Ah, had devised the Eternal Doctrine +which called for the `cleansing', the annihilation, of all non-Ur-Quan sentient life. +Before we could stop them, they burned the Yuptar race's homeworld +and were on their way to the planet of the last remaining free race. +We met the Kohr-Ah in orbit above that planet. We confronted them. They would not submit. We fought. +When our battle was done, the Kohr-Ah were defeated. +We exiled them, sent the remnant of the Kohr-Ah fleet into the unknown reaches of the galaxy. +Then we began our own migration, moving around the galaxy in the opposite direction of the Kohr-Ah. +Captain. You have heard our words. Now you have a decision to make. +Submit to us, the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, or face our wrath. + +#(like_to_leave) +I will leave now. + +#(INDEPENDENCE_IS_BAD) URQUA038.wav +Your independence is too dangerous for us to tolerate. +You shall be punished. + + +#(whats_up_1) +Why do you wish to enslave us? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_1) URQUA039.wav +Although you consider us the enemy, these conclusions are flawed. We are your salvation. +We bring you peace +a peace built upon OUR social framework imposed upon your planet +a new world order in which your prosperity and security are assured by the Ur-Quan. +We will protect you from the hazards of this hostile universe, from dangers so hideous +your simple minds cannot imagine their dark scope. +Today, we are the enemy. In time, this will change. +Soon, you will come to understand the boon of slavery we force upon you +and then, you will revere and even love us for this gift. + +#(whats_up_2) +You didn't answer my question. What's your problem? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_2) URQUA040.wav +You have intruded upon the battleground of our Doctrinal conflict with the Kohr-Ah. +This is not tolerable. +We must maintain our concentration on this war. We must win. +Should we lose, the consequences to you and all other sentient life in this part of the galaxy +would be very grave. +Since you have refused to depart willingly +it appears that we must eliminate you ourselves. + +#(whats_up_3) +Hello? Ur-Quan? Are you paying attention to me? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_3) URQUA041.wav +In our twenty thousand years along the Path of Now and Forever +we have dominated thousands of species, yes +but we have saved hundreds from extinction. +You imagine the threat of unknown invaders, or alien pestilence borne on the solar wind. +We have seen these. But you do not acknowledge your own worst enemy, yourselves. +We have found dead worlds without number, planets ravaged by atomic fire or gaian collapse. +These planets were not rendered sterile by outside forces. +They bear sad testament to the effects of unrestrained instinct and emotion +or simple ignorance. +We will prevent such mistakes. + +#(whats_up_4) +You aren't much of a listener, are you? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_4) URQUA042.wav +A final command human, but it is more of a plea. +Your insubordination has guaranteed your death, there can be no alternative +but your species has not yet crossed the threshold of disobedience +that would require us to decimate Earth. +You have survived combat with us before. You may survive the ensuing battle. +If this happens, leave! Return to your home. Await our arrival there. +If you interfere with us here, we may lose the Doctrinal conflict with the Kohr-Ah. +If we are defeated, you are defeated as well. +The Kohr-Ah will be unleashed. 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I suppose, as a courtesy, I should extend an appropriate greeting. +On behalf of the Utwig Proctors I truly hope, for your sake +that your day has been better than ours +although this really isn't saying that much. + +#(NEUTRAL_SPACE_HELLO_2) UTWIG001.wav +Just go away. Leave us to ponder our grief. + +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_1) UTWIG002.wav +Yagh! Your attitude toward us is not acceptable! +We apologize for having to deal with you this way but +since the loss of the Ultron, we have no choice. +As we prepare to die, so should you. + +#(HOSTILE_SPACE_HELLO_2) UTWIG003.wav +You have caught us in a private dark moment. +We must guarantee your silence with your complete and total destruction. + +#(BOMB_WORLD_HELLO_1) UTWIG004.wav +Attention alien vessel: this world is under the full jurisdiction of the Utwig Proctorate. +We extend a subdued but civil greeting. + +#(BOMB_WORLD_HELLO_2) UTWIG005.wav +You have arrived at a most inopportune time. +Collectively, our species is dealing with a great remorse. +Nevertheless in order to foster a spirit of interspecies good will +we pull ourselves from our intense cycle of self-analysis +and offer this greeting which, we hope, will suffice. + +#(HOSTILE_BOMB_HELLO_1) UTWIG006.wav +Oh woe. We find your presence here disconcerting. +In order to deal with the situation in such a way that we maintain some semblance of authority +we are forced to deploy our forces against your armada. +Prepare yourselves for battle. + +#(HOSTILE_BOMB_HELLO_2) UTWIG007.wav +In a fit of depression I find it necessary to vent my irreconcilable frustration on you. +I normally do not engage in such fervent activities +but I now find myself inspired to do my best to annihilate you with expediency. + + +#(NEUTRAL_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_1) UTWIG008.wav +Normally we would not bother to acknowledge your presence +but you find us in a state of moderate depression +instead of our normal cycle of self-destructive tendencies. + +#(NEUTRAL_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_2) UTWIG009.wav +Alien vessel. Grieve for the loss of both the Utwig and the Universe at large. + +#(NEUTRAL_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_3) UTWIG010.wav +You disturb our routine of eternal grieving +yet we extend to you the courtesy of acknowledgment. + +#(NEUTRAL_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_4) UTWIG011.wav +I am so depressed. You can try to cheer me up if you want to. + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_1) UTWIG012.wav +You have angered the spirit of the Utwig. +Although depressed almost to the point of an inability to perform any actions whatsoever +we find within ourselves the verve required to engage you in a duel to the death. +Indeed, we will find satisfaction in your demise or in our release from our mortal burden. + +#(HOSTILE_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_2) UTWIG013.wav +Attention! Offending vessel! Your presence here is deeply appreciated! +You have stirred us from our depression-induced apathy +to the point where our desire actually registers as a sensation! +We look forward to either finding personal release in the netherworld +or obliterating you successfully. +We thank you for this opportunity! + +#(why_you_here) +For what purpose do you linger at this location? + +#(WE_GUARD_BOMB) UTWIG014.wav +We are the stewards of the Bomb. +We keep it from those who would use it unwisely. +In addition, we are prepared to act under the direction of the Proctorate +should we decide to make a final atonement for our most grievous blunder. + + +#(what_about_bomb) +Hmm, this must be a pretty special Bomb to have all of you keeping an eye on it. + +#(ABOUT_BOMB) UTWIG015.wav +You are correct. It is a relic of Precursor origin. +It has the power to destroy entire planetary objects, perhaps even galaxies. +The Utwig have been entrusted by fate to watch over this device +so that it will be used in the way that it was intended by destiny. + +#(give_us_bomb_or_die) +We have an urgent need for this device. Give us the Bomb. + +#(GUARDS_WARN) UTWIG016.wav +We cannot relinquish control of this instrument of power! +You cannot have the Bomb. +Any attempt on your part to change this current arrangement +will be met with fearsome Utwig resistance! + +#(demand_bomb) +We will now take the Bomb. Give it to us. + +#(GUARDS_FIGHT) UTWIG017.wav +Our anguish serves only to fuel our resolve concerning the jurisdiction of this device. +We stand ready! + +#(may_we_have_bomb) +Wow, that is pretty neat! May we have the Bomb? + +#(NO_BOMB) UTWIG018.wav +Yes +it IS a remarkable device. +It is understandable that you would like to possess it yourselves. +Our mandate, however, requires that we maintain full control of the Bomb. + +#(please) +Oh, please can't we have it? It would make us really happy! + +#(SORRY_NO_BOMB) UTWIG019.wav +No, we are sorry. You cannot have the Bomb. +Besides being against our orders, imagine what would happen if for some reason +our Proctors decide to use it to destroy our civilization. +How would we explain its absence? + +#(whats_up_bomb) +Tell us about the Bomb. What's the scoop? + +#(GENERAL_INFO_BOMB_1) UTWIG020.wav +During standard exploration procedures we came across what appeared to be +an ancient Precursor supply base. +It had been dismantled and appeared to be empty. +In the staging area there was a collection of what appeared to be refuse. +During the cataloging of these various items, this device was discovered in a damaged container. +From what our scientist can tell, it appears to be a planeteering tool +capable of reducing moon-sized objects to particulate dust clouds. +We believe that it was either accidentally forgotten +or simply left because of a lack of room on the departing vessel. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_BOMB_2) UTWIG021.wav +The Bomb may have been left here by mistake. +We suspect that if activated, it will turn this entire planet +into nothing more than an expanding mass of tiny dirt clods. +The Utwig have considered carefully that perhaps it would be best to use this device +to put us out of our collective misery. +Although this may sound extreme, I will point out that our mishandling of the Ultron +is a disaster of epic proportions. + +#(bye_bomb) +This Bomb is pretty dangerous and you guys are crazy. I'm getting out of here! + +#(GOODBYE_BOMB) UTWIG022.wav +Ha ha, don't worry. Hey! I laughed! How could I do that? +Now I sink into a depression that leaves me speechless. + +#(hey_wait_got_ultron) +Whoa there, hold your horses! Look at this! We've got your Ultron! + +#(TAUNT_US_BUT_WE_LOOK) UTWIG023.wav +Taunting us buys you nothing except to steel our resolve to end your existence. +In fact, we will humor you in your little game. +You have seconds to show us whatever bric-a-brac you possess. +We will then commence with the cessation of your existence.\r + +#(TRICKED_US_1) UTWIG024.wav +I expected no less. +You hold before us nothing more than a reminder of a past mistake that offends us to no end. +We now commence your termination. + +#(TRICKED_US_2) UTWIG025.wav +I am speechless with rage... and yet, I must speak! +How dare you flaunt the collective embarrassment of the Utwig?! +You will now pay for your severe breach of etiquette! + +#(we_are_vindicator0) +This is Captain, +#(we_are_vindicator1) +, representing + +#(we_are_vindicator2) +. Please respond. + +#(WOULD_BE_HAPPY_BUT) UTWIG026.wav +What good would that do -- I mean, why should we? +We agonized for hours wondering if it was a cruel twist of fate +or simply a serious case of butterfingery. +Ah, the lifetimes that have been spent in the pursuit of the elusive answer +to this deceptively simple question has driven many of us down the dark road of self-destruction. +Indeed, even as these words strike the ears of any that care to listen +the real question is, Does It Matter? I cannot say, I wallow in a quandary +unable to determine what better atones for my part of the Great Sin. +Should I engage in slow and painful self-termination? +Should I commit myself to a long life of painful self-flagellation? +Should I throw myself with enthusiastic verve at the problem of collective annihilation? +I do not know. Even now my mind writhes in the anguish of indecision lest the outcome be inadequate. + +#(why_sad) +Hmm, I detect that recent events have not gone your way. Why don't you start at the beginning? + +#(ULTRON_BROKE) UTWIG027.wav +*Sigh* All right, I'll try, but you know, it really doesn't matter. +After all, we have a famous Utwig saying: when one loses the reason for existence +one tends to get less motivated. +This goes hand-in-hand with the painfully appropriate credo +'We broke it so we are paying for it'. +Of course, this isn't really accurate; the situation is so much more hideous! +Imagine, if you can, holding within your hands The Answer!... +...only to have it taunt you with its former potential! +Ah, cruel irony! The loss of the Ultron grieves us all! + +#(what_ultron) +Um, yes, of course, the Ultron. We grieve. How sad. Now, what was it again? + +#(GLORIOUS_ULTRON) UTWIG028.wav +Bah! It doesn't matter! Besides being of no concern to you +I find discussion of this matter, well, distasteful. +*Sigh.* The Ultron was not only the thing which assures total and complete meaning of life for you and I +it is Universal; I'm sure that you too are aware of this thing if only in legend! +It granted us all limitless power and knowledge. +It has been since, well, rendered inoperative. + +#(dont_be_babies) +Just because you busted your Ultra-thingy, don't be a bunch of cry-babies! + +#(MOCK_OUR_PAIN) UTWIG029.wav +Gah! Now you've really done it! +Your blatant transgressions have me hopping mad! +Hop hop hop! Okay, that's it! Put up your dukes! Nobody makes fun of the Ultron! + +#(real_sorry_about_ultron) +Sniff. That reminds me when my pet dog Splib, ran in front of a... rock chipper! + +#(APPRECIATE_SYMPATHY) UTWIG030.wav +You are kind. If we could wield the Ultron to resurrect your Splib, we would... but +I suddenly am overcome with waves of depression. +I must retire now to perform rituals of anguish. +Waves of trauma wash across my being even now. I must go. + +#(what_about_you_1) +A truly unique set of events put you in your current state. Am I right? + +#(ABOUT_US_1) UTWIG031.wav +Hah, to say the least! +Our past is one of both a glorious and proud people coupled with a cataclysm that rocks the Universe +to its very core! +It all began when the Chimt rose from the Murky Bog and the Utwig emerged as well. +In these primitive times we cavorted about our world oblivious to any sort of higher purpose +we took everything at face value. +Meanwhile, the tendrils of the Chimt infiltrated the vast sky canopies of Fahz and then the veils fell! +Suddenly, the Utwig were stunned by a collective realization! +All immediately and urgently donned veils of every description! Hides, leaves, shells, rocks +even living drells were donned in the early days. +You see, the face is the mechanism that expresses many of the primitive qualities that hinder sentience. +Now rid of constant reminders of greed, rage, hatred, and lust +the wisdom of the Utwig was no longer hampered by constant reminders of the primitive urge. +Over many generations mask etiquette was refined to a rock-solid foundation of our society. +Sure, the Morality Riots were expensive both in lives and infrastructure +but the result was better mask regulation; specification from your basic Mask of Gruelling but Neccessary Activity +to the most highly decorated Countenance of Stellar Representation. These were clearly defined. +Recognizing the importance of flexibility, clear-cut and efficient procedures for revision and redesign +dealt with the few anomalies. From that moment when we covered the source of our intellectual oppression +we knew that it was a grand purpose that defined our destiny. +Our entire development as a sentient species was coordinated to coincide with the appearance of a remarkable device +the Ultron! +We were oblivious to its tragic implication. + +#(what_about_you_2) +Yow! Absolutely fascinating. But what exactly do you mean by tragic? + +#(ABOUT_US_2) UTWIG032.wav +In order for you to truly understand the situation, you need to know more about the Ultron +and its unique capabilities. +You see, when the Druuge discovered the Ultron they knew that it was ours. +The Druuge were compelled by intrinsic universal direction to take it to where it has always belonged. +They brought it to us. +Oh, the Ultron! +It assured total and complete meaning of life for All -- the Universal! +With the Ultron in hand I could sense not only your motivations and desires, but your purpose. +I could act upon these things in ways that would most likely seem mysterious if not, well, daft. +Years later, you would herald our participation in your development as the turning point for your species. +The Druuge were only one of the few to benefit in this way. +Even now, they are puzzled by the way we rewarded them for the delivery of the Ultron to its correct place. +In twenty four years, two months and three days they will all dance the dance of Jubilation. +Indeed, the Ultron has allowed us to fundamentally change the Druuge forever! +The Supox too received many benefits from our use of the Ultron. +They can testify to its power! + +#(what_about_you_3) +Hmm, sounds like things were going pretty well. So what happened? + +#(ABOUT_US_3) UTWIG033.wav +Yes, things were perfect. What happened is, well, I... it is difficult to talk about. +I saw it happen. I witnessed the Chinz-Rahl celebration. +I felt the Ultron fill the empty place that I did not know was there. +I saw the Grand Proctor pass it to +well, they say that the Chief Groo did not know that it was so heavy and slippery. +Perhaps it was a combination of factors. +Some who have reviewed the records claim it was actually a conspiracy! +The commission investigation officially stated that the Ultron was rendered inoperative by the fall to the ground +yet many feel that the whole story has not been told! +As it struck the ground, I saw its glow fade, and then the painful void incapacitated all. +All Utwig immediately donned the mask of Ultimate Embarrassment and Shame with a vow to wear it forever! +Bonfires all over Fahz consumed all but this mask; no other mask was spared! +The Visage of Ceremonial Orations in all of its contexts and revisions +all of the courting masks from the clever and intriguing Veil of Flirtatious Prancing +to the infamous Lewd Monacle... all consumed by the hungry flames. +Even the most fundamental fixtures were committed to this irreversible fate. +The Mask of Natural Bodily Excretions once hung in every lavatory! +Most of the public facilities have removed the disposable mask dispensers +but every once in a while I still see such a repository... always empty. +At that time, many suggested that we use the Precursor relic as a form of self punishment. +The proposal was that we collectively go to the second moon of the sixth planet of Zeta Hyades +(at coordinates 850.3, 937.2) +and use the ancient planeteering device to end our existence. +After much discussion, we decided that we deserved to suffer. +We can use the Bomb if we ever decide the time is right +in the meantime, we atone for our grievous mistake with our collective misery. +I suddenly sink into a chasm of depression. I must go. + +#(what_about_urquan_1) +Do you know anything about the enslaving Ur-Quan? + +#(ABOUT_URQUAN_1) UTWIG034.wav +We know nothing of this species that you mention. +However, while we are on the subject of evil and powerful species +we have encountered a particularly gruesome race that seemed to come from the direction of Arcturus. +When we hailed them, they responded with mighty weapons that sent our delegation to their deaths +lucky fools. +The alien's dark crusty battleships are capable of guiding spinning mines into almost any location +and should an enemy get too close, a fiery corona emerges to inflict fearsome damage. +In our skirmishes with the race, who called themselves the Kohr-Ah +we found that by using our own shielding capability we could sweep through the mines, absorb the corona +and then get close enough to the dark ships to give a lick of our own. +In truth, however, they are very powerful and ruthless. +When the Kohr-Ah started to press towards our homeworld +we thought that our deserved punishment was being administered. +But then, a mystery? They suddenly became disinterested and veered away. Bah! Confounding frustration! +With the Ultron I could speak knowledgeably on this subject! +To have this quality torn from our grasp emphasizes how meaningless our existence really is. +This lack of meaning is what drives my species to the serious contemplation of a quick end! + +#(what_about_urquan_2) +Yes, that is really a pity. So what more do you know about the Kohr-Ah? + +#(ABOUT_URQUAN_2) UTWIG035.wav +Aagghh! Your query once again painfully reminds me of the Ultron and what it was for the Universe! +I could tell you all and correct ALL that is wrong in the Universe! +All I can tell you is that the Kohr-Ah live to kill. +Their stated purpose is to seek out new life and new civilizations +and then annihilate them. +We seemed to qualify as such and that is why it is puzzling that after pursuing us with some tenacity +they suddenly turned away and headed toward Crateris. +Aangh! All this speculation would be unnecessary if only we had saved the Ultron! +It would not have taken much; a diving catch, a thrown pillow +even a fuzzy wumpus would have broken the fall satisfactorily! +Indeed, a panel convened to analyze the possibilities +concluded there were at least 623 ways that the Ultron could have been saved +if we had been prepared! Aagghh! +Let us cease our discussion concerning these matters. + +#(got_ultron) +Hey guys, guess what we've got! We've got THE ULTRON! Wanna see it? + +#(DONT_WANT_TO_LOOK) UTWIG036.wav +Gaaah! Should I set my gaze upon such a sight I might suffer sleepless nights for years on end! +It is a symbol of the collective Utwig failure. +It is our ultimate tragedy!\r + +#(SICK_TRICK_1) UTWIG037.wav +Why do you flaunt the husk which once was the Ultron? +Can't you see how much we suffer? Is this not enough? +This thing you possess... this husk of lost destiny, it is the symbol of the Ultimate Utwig Anguish! +Do - Not - Tor - ment - Me - So! + +#(SICK_TRICK_2) UTWIG038.wav +AAAHHH!! Stop! I know that I deserve it but I cannot bear it. +Stop, please! To view this thing... I would rather bare my face +and work all of its parts in a grotesque display of self-degradation! Leave now! + +#(bye_neutral) +We now terminate communication in a civil, yet efficient manner. + +#(GOODBYE_NEUTRAL) UTWIG039.wav +As do we. Go now with neither malice nor joy. + +#(TOO_LATE) UTWIG040.wav +TOO LATE + + +#(name_1) +The New Alliance of Free Stars! + +#(name_2) +The Concordance of Alien Nations! + +#(name_3) +The United Federation of Worlds! + +#(name_40) +The Empire of +#(name_41) +! + +#(HAPPY_DAYS) UTWIG041.wav +AAAHHH!! Every divot, every crack on Its surface is etched forever in my soul! +Remove It from my sight lest I purge my... hey! +that is not the devastated Ultron +it is the image of the Ultron BEFORE!... a trick? A TRICK?! +Oooh! I had no idea that any species could sink so low! +How dare you try to manipulate me with that cheap stage prop?!... why it's not even +Hey, wait a second, it looks like... CAN IT BE?... YES, IT IS!...A MIRACLE!! +You have our eternal thanks, good Captain! +You will be immortalized as the blessed figure that delivered unto us our future! +We will revere your very likeness! +Let me take the Ultron...yes, I feel the link...the knowledge, and... the Power. +Hmm, it seems that there is much to do. +Indeed, it seems that you should proceed to the second moon of the sixth planet of Zeta Hyades +and take what you find there; we no longer have need for it +but the Ultron reveals that YOU will! +I thank you for your part in the grand scheme. We now recover that which is ours via destiny +and proceed to perform our essential service for the universe.\r + +#(OK_ATTACK_KOHRAH) UTWIG042.wav +BUT WAIT!! +The Ultron throbs and whistles! Matters of significance are being relayed to our brains. +It has been so long since we communicated with the ultimate in such a manner +but slowly, the truth is revealed... our destiny!! +We have been directed to join with our Supox allies and attack... +YOU!... +...no wait, that's wrong. Sorry. +We attack... YOUR ENEMIES... the Ur-Quan and the Kohr-Ah!... +...no, that's not quite right either... what? Oh, okay. +We must strike ONLY the black ships... only the Kohr-Ah! +Now, Captain, we must leave to prepare our battle fleets. Wish us luck! + + +#(whats_up_after_space) +Tell us what events have transpired since we last met. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_AFTER_SPACE_1) UTWIG043.wav +We have met the Kohr-Ah in battle, and... well, let me explain. +Initially, when our forces swept to the Horologii stars +they proved effective against the armaments of the Kohr-Ah. +With our shield-absorption technology we were able to sweep clear the Kohr-Ah's spinning blades +and absorb the brunt of their fiery corona, allowing our Supox allies to concentrate on the vessels themselves. +However, the costs were high... very high. +I should don the facial effigy of Remorse For Lost Comrades. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_AFTER_SPACE_2) UTWIG044.wav +As you kmow, we were forced to withdraw from the Kohr-Ah offensive. +Although we were able to make good account of ourselves, our casualties were high. +In our attempt to balance the Doctrinal Conflict between the Kohr-Ah and the Ur-Quan +we avoided the Ur-Quan; however they continued to engage us whenever possible. +We had no choice but to take whatever losses were handed to us. +I can think of no mask that properly expresses how I feel concerning this situation. + +#(what_now_after_space) +Given what you have learned, what do you think we should do now? + +#(DO_THIS_AFTER_SPACE) UTWIG045.wav +We have done all that we can. There are no others capable of significant intervention. +Certain doom grows imminent for all of us. We lament. +But wait!...listen closely! The Ultron intervenes! There is a solution! +YOU are the solution! +Only YOU may halt the Kohr-Ah's seemingly inevitable advance upon life. +They CAN be defeated and you MUST do it! +Oh, my spirit is lifted! If only my mask of Confident and Lofty Posture had not been burned +I would don it with rash impudence ignoring all etiquette and procedures! + +#(bye_after_space) +We thank you for your aid. We go now to address the matters at hand. + +#(GOODBYE_AFTER_SPACE) UTWIG046.wav +Excellent! The Ultron's coruscations indicate that your future actions are laced with great potential! +Proceed with our heartiest endorsement! + +#(whats_up_before_space) +We are pleased that we were of assistance in the recovery of your Ultron. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_BEFORE_SPACE_1) UTWIG047.wav +Indeed! We are in the process of reacclimating our brains to its metawave gyrations. +Even now we are compelled to implement a plan of interference, thwarting the goals of the Kohr-Ah. +We sense through the influence of the Ultron that these creatures of evil +have goals which are mutually exclusive with our existence, and your own. +Even now, aided by the intangible guidance of the Ultron, we formulate a plan +that will serve to preserve the diversity in the galaxy. +We prepare an armada composed of the collective might of both the Utwig and Supox forces +that will pursue the invaders with the intent of foiling their plan of doom. + +#(GENERAL_INFO_BEFORE_SPACE_2) UTWIG048.wav +We have determined that the Kohr-Ah are engaging in battle the species that you call Ur-Quan. +We are unable to determine the cause of this conflict. +Even meticulous employment of the Ultron in this matter has yielded only minimal insight.\n +In any case, after interpreting the direction provided by the Ultron +we must let the two species cancel each other out via attrition through combat. + +#(what_now_before_space) +Does the remarkable device suggest to us a potential course of action? + +#(DO_THIS_BEFORE_SPACE) UTWIG049.wav +Your request is within our capabilities. One moment +Mmmm, emanations from the Ultron... orange furry air breathes tender yawns +Yes, it all becomes clear now... you must do something with the great Bomb +the Precursor relic we kept at Zeta Hyades VI-B. +It seems that this Bomb must be, ah... eaten?...no. Hugged?... no +Ah! IMPROVED! That's it! The Bomb must be improved to fulfill its final destiny! + +#(bye_before_space) +We anticipate an era of glory for the Utwig! Farewell! + +#(GOODBYE_BEFORE_SPACE) UTWIG050.wav +There is much for us to do. May the Ultron be with you! + +#(how_went_war) +What were the results of your actions against the Ur-Quan and Kohr-Ah? + +#(ABOUT_BATTLE) UTWIG051.wav +Ah Captain! The battle against the Kohr-Ah was fearsome. +As we and our allied Supox approached the main force +we found that the Kohr-Ah and the species that you call the Ur-Quan +were engaged in a conflict of fundamental doctrine in which the Kohr-Ah thesis seemed superior. +Acting under the guidance of the Ultron, we engaged the Kohr-Ah in an effort to balance the battle. +We met with some success. We would sweep the mines clear and deplete the energy reserves of the Kohr-Ah vessels. +Then, the brave Supox would dart in and direct their weapons against the black ships. +Timing was critical. Our losses were high. +Battered in the extreme, we were forced to withdraw. + +#(how_goes_war) +How is your engagement with the Kohr-Ah and Ur-Quan going? + +#(BATTLE_HAPPENS_1) UTWIG052.wav +Even as I speak, brave Utwig and noble Supox launch themselves against the merciless arsenal of the Kohr-Ah. +We continue to refine our tactics. +Alas, the Kohr-Ah are winning their war with the Ur-Quan. +We grow uncomfortable with the success that the Kohr-Ah currently enjoy +so we fight only the Kohr-Ah in hopes of weakening their stand against the Ur-Quan.\n +The Ur-Quan complicate matters by blasting our vessels with fusion bolts +thus we have made it a policy to avoid Ur-Quan ships whenever possible. + +#(BATTLE_HAPPENS_2) UTWIG053.wav +We have discovered that the Kohr-Ah, in addition to their formidable battle vessels +will soon possess an immense ship capable of inflicting destruction on a vast scale. +I do not need to examine the pulsations of the Ultron to know that they will use this instrument +to implement their stated objective, the elimination all intelligent life besides their own. + +#(FLEET_ON_WAY) UTWIG054.wav +Even as I utter these words, the combined military resource of both the Utwig and Supox +proceed toward Horologii to intercept the Kohr-Ah. +Besides the importance of our efforts, the Ultron indicates +all futures which include our survival are contingent on the actions that you now take. + +#(learn_new_info) +I'm glad things are looking up. Anything in the way of new developments? + +#(NO_NEW_INFO) UTWIG055.wav +Even now we acclimate to the great power of the Ultron +but are overwhelmed with the resources that the Ultron offers +in effect, we have grown rusty in its use. +As soon as we regain our proficiency, we will be able to accommodate all your requests. + +#(SAMATRA) UTWIG056.wav +The Kohr-Ah will soon possess a seemingly invincible vessel called the Sa-Matra. +I cannot give you specifics regarding this matter other than its general location +somewhere in the Crateris constellation. +The Sa-Matra is seemingly invincible, able to lay waste to an entire planet in less than an eyeblink. +The Ultron indicates that you must somehow destroy this thing or the Kohr-Ah will destroy all known life. + +#(what_now_homeworld) +What course of action does the Ultron, your powerful attribute amplifier, recommend for us now? + +#(HOPE_KILL_EACH_OTHER) UTWIG057.wav +We can only hope that our efforts to balance the forces of the Ur-Quan and the Kohr-Ah +will permit them to mutually annihilate each other. + +#(how_is_ultron) +It seems that you are making good use of the Ultron. Is this so? + +#(ULTRON_IS_GREAT) UTWIG058.wav +You ask a question that I hesistate to answer. You see, normally at this point +I would don the mask of Rampant Jubilation and Jumping With Ecstatic Glee. +This mask is seldom worn, for few events merit its complexity. +Since I do not currently possess this mask +let me just say that the Ultron is everything it could ever possibly be and MORE! +Even now I sense that your curiosity is piqued to an extreme. +You wish to ask more questions. +However, these questions are probably best left unasked. +It is through the potent yet harmonious force of the Ultron +that I will now cause you to drop the subject altogether. + +#(bye_allied_homeworld) +We acknowledge the celestial Ultron and your assistance. We will now be on our way. + +#(GOODBYE_ALLIED_HOMEWORLD) UTWIG059.wav +It is as the Ultron wills. So be it. We bid you the very best luck. +Although it is true that all possibilities can be realized through proper utilization of the Ultron +we are, as yet, deficient operators of this grand device. +We will, however, make a best attempt to help you from afar. + +#(ALLIED_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_1) UTWIG060.wav +It is the legendary Earth Captain! A grand celebration is in order! +We prepare now for the festivities! +Many will bow before you and offer their profuse thanks! +Proceed now to our main spaceport and then on to the parade! +The two week celebration of great thanks will begin! Joy! +What? You are too busy? Alas... perhaps another time. + +#(ALLIED_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_2) UTWIG061.wav +Our spirits are lifted by your visit! +I sense through the Ultron's powers that you are curious +about the status of your well-deserved facial appliance. Fear not! +Even though we currently have no masks worthy of your stature +with the reestablishment of the Ultron within the structure of the Utwig wholeness +we proceed with the design and implementation of what will truly be the pinnacle of Utwig ingenuity. +At long last, you will be able to cover your unsightly mug with distinction! + +#(ALLIED_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_3) UTWIG062.wav +Ah, I see that it is the great Earth Captain honoring my own lowly self with undeserved attention. +Even now my skin prickles with embarrassment since I am unable to don a mask +that accurately indicates my awed and respectful attitude toward you. +I am glad to say, however, that we are in the process +of redefining and restructuring our entire countenance catalog. +The results will be dramatic since the Ultron is now integrated in this process. +In the meantime, I beg that you bear with us while we complete this task. + +#(ALLIED_HOMEWORLD_HELLO_4) UTWIG063.wav +I am honored to encounter your greatness! +Currently, our collective creative force is engaged in a project to honor you. +We are in the process of transforming a planetary body +in a location that will remain secret +into a Great Mask. This mask will be worn by one individual and ONLY one individual! +It is the mask of the great Captain! It is YOU that wears this mask. +When you don this mask, we will see the eyes come alive. +When you speak, all will hear. When you smile, we will rejoice! +I sense your excitement concerning this project! + +#(HELLO_BEFORE_KOHRAH_SPACE_1) UTWIG064.wav +Suddenly I am overcome with embarrassment! +I possess the distinguished honor of addressing the legendary Earth Captain! +Please excuse my lack of a proper facial appliance. +This occasion ideally calls for me to don the Expression of Ultimate Gratitude. +Eegh! I am compelled by the forceful Emanations of the Ultron to describe the appearance of the mask. +Its foundation is composed entirely of a matrix of beetle secretions and Trooba Fern +in an intricate and complex texture. +The proccess is extremely time-consuming since even the best-trained beetle colonies +will build a thousand rejects for every successful foundation. +Alas, it will be many years before any of the Utwig will be able to wear such a mask. + +#(HELLO_BEFORE_KOHRAH_SPACE_2) UTWIG065.wav +Do my eyes deceive me? Am I a victim of a glorious vision? +I believe that I see before me the legendary Earth Captain! +We have conducted a complete survey of the Utwig +and we have convened the committee that will guide the formation of your Saintly Facade. +We eagerly anticipate the delivery of an appliance! +Imagine, when development is completed in perhaps less than ten years +you may esthetically conceal the constant reminder of your bestial aspects +and walk with pride amongst those of sophisticated intellect! + +#(HELLO_DURING_KOHRAH_SPACE_1) UTWIG066.wav +The Ultron indicates that you must leave the area immediately! You are in extreme danger! +This area is currently controlled by either the Ur-Quan or the Kohr-Ah, we are not sure. +We are currently engaging the Kohr-Ah in an attempt to balance the conflict. Stay clear! + +#(HELLO_DURING_KOHRAH_SPACE_2) UTWIG067.wav +Battle rages in the immediate area. Beware! +The Ur-Quan and the Kohr-Ah are engaged in a conflict of doctrinal extremes. +The Ur-Quan argument seems inferior. +You must clear the area before you become a victim of either the Ur-Quan or Kohr-Ah theses. +Leave now! We shall remain in an attempt to balance the conflict +so that the two forces of evil might more effectively negate each other. + +#(HELLO_AFTER_KOHRAH_SPACE_1) UTWIG068.wav +We extend our sincere greetings to the remarkable being +that returned to the Utwig the meaning for our continued existence. +We have returned from a conflict of a grand scale with our fleet battered +but our masks of Valor and Derring-Do held high! + +#(HELLO_AFTER_KOHRAH_SPACE_2) UTWIG069.wav +Ah, it is the most recently appointed Ultron Saint -- the Captain from Earth! +We flick our facial appliances collectively in a smart salute indicating both respect and gratitude. +How can we assist you? + +#(UP_TO_YOU) UTWIG070.wav +The prognosticating harmonics of the Ultron reveal a truth. +We Utwig have done all that CAN be done to aid you. +Our tasks must now be confined to directing the many channels of causation. +Feel confident that we are using the Ultron to this end. + +#(can_you_help) +Material aid from you would tilt the balance in the favor of Good. + +#(HOW_HELP) UTWIG071.wav +Hmm... a reasonable request. Give us a second while we consult the Ultimate.\r + +#(DONT_NEED) UTWIG072.wav +The Ultron confirms the evidence of our ocularities +you are strong, smart and capable. +Your fleet is at maximum strength and your ethics are sound. +Further assistance would be redundant. + +#(HAVE_4_SHIPS) UTWIG073.wav +Just so. The Ultron has hummed its assent. +Take possession of four of our Jugger craft instantly. + +